Sunday, February 27, 2005

haix... this might b the last time i write blog entry in this page ler... dun think i goin to use this page anymore ler bax... only if today there is changes... if not... let everything pass bax...

ytd... think she noe everything ler bax.. think i haf hurt her lots n lots by leavin her bax... n i m sure tat it is really alot... on the day i was prayin... i pray tat if she is sad... convert all her sadness into sickness and let me suffer instead... ytd at silver hair nite... i dunno wat i m doin at all.. i feel so sick n tired... i feel as if i m goin to die at the next moment... i noe tat there is lots of things in my mind tat i need to work out... at tat point of moment... i feel like i m not goin to mac... but after tat... i went there... i feel so sad... really sad... i dunno wat to do... i wanna walk away... i dun wish to stay... i juz cant face the reality bax... i wanna escape... all lost n confuse... i took ur suggestion... u ask me to ask the ger to leave instead of me leavin... but i duno how to say it to u... therefore i leave.. since it make no different... i juz wish tat the period tat i disappear... the feelin will fade... though it is oso sad within me... i wish tat i can dun leave.. but it seems like i cant..

juz i recieve a newx... sumone is leavin le... though i feel sad... i oso dunno wat to say... in the class... he is really my best brother i haf bax... he give in alot to me... i dunno wat to say... well... mayb tat goes the same situation for me bax... if i m in ur shoe... mei... once decision are make... they cant do much abt it ler... the only person tat can change it is only u bax... keep on askin me where am i... is tat counted s a solution... i keep almost matter to myself... i dun wanna tell anybody... nt bcoz i dun wanna tell... sumtimes is tat ppl r bz... how they goin hear wat i gonna say... so i decide to keep it all to myself... n bcoz others already gt enough trouble themselves... i dun wanna trouble anymore ppl ler bax...

is u who bought me to feel the blongin of god.. at the first point... i enter the gate of heaven... i feel very happy... for the first time in my life.. i feel things so different.. all the prayers i prays are for u... i haf been prayin very hard in church so tat it could protect u... to make the correct decision... but my prayer now pray tat u can b happy even when i m gone..

to b honest.. i haf not make my final decision whether i shuld leave anot.. if u saw my blog.. u wanna me to stay is still nt too late..

c",) if tml i appear in front u de hua... i wun b leavin ler...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 2:31 PM

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

ytd is mama de birthday sia... haix... jie jie bought a cake for mama... den we eat the cake lor... haix... the whole day darn say lor... dunno wat to say... finally my detention over liao... coz dint go school... den kanna detention lahx... haix... everyday muz do this n do tat... haix... so nvm lahx... do wateva i need to do lor... haix... so long nv write blog ler... now oso dunno wat to write liao... so sianx... so sad... haix...

c",) sat is silver hair nitex ler... lets c wat i will do after tat bax...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 9:38 PM

Thursday, February 17, 2005

arhx... today such a borin day.. haix... letter send to my house tat i dint go for school for four days this month... erm... means 1 week go 1 week dint go lahx... haix... so sianx sia... so much of time wasted here n there.. actually if can de hua i rather dun study arx... dun even feel like doin my work in the class at all... if tomolo there is a choice of not goin... i will choose not to enter the world of tomolo n stay n leave at ytd... if there is a way i can stay at home for not doin anything... i will... coz i m not the one dat decide the future... if i can decide to enter the future anot... i wish i dun... coz everything was a secret to me n myself.. how i hope i m alone now... without anybody wif me... today... actually was thinkin of goin pool wif jude n ben de... but i cant... coz i m ask home when i reach lot 1.. went into he pool there... kaox... my form teacher... cbk... call at such occasion... make me loss all my mood... fuck up lahx... i dun like to use fuck de lor... haix... this is the few times i say fuck in my life...arx... really darn fuck up liao arhxx... force by the principal... kaox... i not so free lor... haix... sianx diaox... if there is one day i goin to haf a gun... the first person tat i m goin to shoot is our principal... arhx.... darn fuck up arx...

c",) ignore the face bax... i m not smilin

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 5:27 PM

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

haix... though today seems to b a very enjoyable day for me in the view of others la... but erm... dun think so lahx... i m not really enjoyin today bax... early in the mornin already feel like not goin to sch ler... den after tat... still gt leo meeting... kaox.. think i make of metal de arx.. after tat i go to plae bball wif angda they all... vs the c boys... haix... actually dun even need to play de lor.. free n easy... sure win game... den in the end... really win them la... but a small margin only... after tat... went home liao... ask papa to drive me go buy books... coz no activity book... so go popular buy... haix.. den reach there.. abt to close liao... haix... suan ler lahx... so i went home liao... actually not very important lahx... den i tell my mama... erm... quite important la... coz dun wanna run here n there to get the books mahx... who so free... since today quite free.. den go n get the books la.. haix... after tat went back home liao... the com spoil.. dunno y affect my com de moderm... den cannot run internet... so use my laptop to use the internet... haix... so nvm la... though very lag.. but no choice lahx... no other computer liaox...

c",) sianx arx... goin to slp liao lahx... mayb nia la..

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 10:21 PM

Monday, February 14, 2005

haix... how time pass n how i spent my day... y today the time seems to b darn slow... can it move faster.. can it go faster.. haix... today really darn bad mood lor... sumore darn sad lor... haix... i wanted to do lotsa things today... but unable to... i juz dun wanna stay at home today.. oso dunno y... haix... early in the mornin can relax abit la... den day gettin worst n worst... sumore today new sittin arrangement... haix... try to make alot of noise in class lor... really darn hot lor... fall asleep twice... coz ytd only slp for 2 hours... den need to wake sumone up... haix.. den nvm lor.. wake her up liao... den she went to slp again... bwg arx... after tat i go school liao... dunno wat the hell tat POA teacher thinkin lor... havin PMS arx... siao de... keep scoldin n scoldin.. kaox... i still wanna go de lor... haix... dun force me to scold vulguar arx... haix... still able to control myself... arggghhh... nvm... den today valentines oso... den there is one msg tat make me haf the first laughter of the day... nvm... shuldnt make the ger malu... heez... after tat after school ler... cant find anybody to accompany... haix... shuld haf zi bi de lor... n dunno y hor... today almost whoever i go wif hor... sure mr chew wanna speak to tat person de leix... haix.. den after tat play bball for a while in the school... haix... i oso dunno them de lahx... den janice ask me to play wif them.. den okay lor.. anything... so hor play wif them... almost all oso i score de lahx... den hor i after tat... they dun wanna play liaox... so nvm lor... go walk around de school... coz darn sianx mahx... so hor walk lor.. den saw the leo room... gt light.. so went in.. saw tat ppl there... so went in to take a look... den stay there lor... since gt nothing to do... after tat read the books there... so sianx mahx... den wait ler... den everybody go home ler... den i go home lor... gt home ler... go out again.. coz nothing to do mahx... so went out to haf a walk la... den ask ben if free mahx.. den go play pool wif him... play a while only la... after tat went to gombak... thinkin of eatin dinner there... but dunno y... dun feel like there is anything to eat... but in the end... eat sumthing lor... den went to hannah house downstairs to sit sit... c children play playground... den ask hannah if she wanna accompany me... den the first thing she come down... she ask me to go home... haix.. sian 1/2 lor... after tat abt 820 liaox... den i went home lor... when i reach home is only 835 lor... haix... so early... nothing to do... den bluff by hannah to come online... she say today nobody wanna chat wif her... ask me to come online to chat wif her... den wait for her until she come online.. haix... so at the mean time... type blog lor...

c",) wo bei pian ler...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 9:33 PM

Thursday, February 10, 2005

sianx arx... today is a bored day lor... the whole day keep gambling... haix... actually win over 30 plus 40 dollars de... den after tat lose n lose n lose... keep losin until left winin 10 dollars nia... haix... bwg... den my leg will grow numb sia... haix... after tat i go eat the steam boat... haix.. bwg.. dun like it lor... coz so many ppl there... den erm... dish oso not very gud... dun really like eatin steamboat oso lahx.. prefer bbq... den after tat came home n type blog lor.. haix... nothing special today la... if anybody wanna noe 1 very importantin when u gamble... muz come n find me worx... if not lose until u take off pants arx... i exprience de worx... it true... two time liaox...

c",) sianx diaox... haix... god... give me sumthing to do...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 11:08 PM

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

today new year ler worx... for those who has been readin my blog de... happy new year worx... haix.. even though today is new year... but i still very sad leix... feel like cryin... but i cant... coz today is new year... ytd after wat i chat wif ben ler... he told me dun b so stupid... y leave when they all need me... i dunno wat to say... really feel tat i m a failure... a big failure... but when i heard frm ben tat he treasure me s a friend... i really very happy... really very touched by his words... even his actions... when i say i m leavin... he *ahem ahem*... haix... dunno bax... really feel tat i dun blong to this world... think the promise i gave mei is goin to b broken ler bax... dun think i can b a gd kor after all... if one day i goin to b gone... forget me bax... hope tat sumone will tell u the truth one day... n s for jie... u r already bz enough ler bax... gt so many kor n jie n mei n di among u... without me one... doesnt make a difference de...

c",) one day i m goin to leave... if sumone can ever stop me... the person might b u... there is a 50-50 percent if i m leavin... if i m not leavin... there is only 1 reason... i cant bear to leave all of u... if i leave... i juz dun cant face the truth n reality...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 11:39 PM

Monday, February 07, 2005

today i skip school ler... the feelin so high sia... i pon school... go all the way to changi airport eat breakfast... at first dun feel like eating breakfast liao.. so darn sianx... den suddenly feel the hunger on me... den take the sky train to T1 to eat BK... coz i oso dunno wat to eat... den eat a rengdang double... after tat went back the viewin mall at T1... c like very sianx like tat... den take the sky train back to T2... lookin all around for the viewin mall... haix... den i took the escalator up to the third floor... cannot find... all restaurant.. after tat... walk all the way to coffee bean there... saw another escalator... den go up lor... i saw the sign.. " viewing mall" den i walk n walk lor.. den finally found the place ler... i was sitting there... i oso dunno wat m i doin there... keep thinkin of sum things... den msg alot of ppl... den i took up my phone... i msg benjamin... i told him... if one day i disappear ler... dun bother looking for me ler... coz i will be at sumwhere tat nobody noes me and from there it will be forever ler.. i was thinkin of msgin it to sumone else... but after all... i dint do it... coz i dun wanna disturb her... feelin so sad rite now... really sad... i juz wish tat i can disappear into the thin air where nobody will noe me from then and i wun feel so sad... and for sure i will gain freedom from there...

c",) if i disappear... dun look for me ler... coz i wun b there n i will escapre from reality... b4 i leave.. H2 + Na2 -> Li + O2 + V + Y +E + U

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 5:14 PM

Saturday, February 05, 2005

haix... today was a bad day... a very bad one... haix... today juz came back from work.. early in the morning... den my phone spoil already not in a very gd mood liao lor... sumore take my ma phone... kaox ehx... sumore pink in colour... haix... sianx diaox... den i go nokia... the person tell me the LCD screen cost $100 over ... where i go find so much money for the phone... nvm lor... den i walk around lor... i go c whether ppl wanna take in my phone mahx... if i sell off my phone... sure very cheap only lor... ask owl... he oso dun wanna take in... den i went back to nokia... wanna repair liao... the chao bor tell me need at least $200 coz not only the LCD screen spoil... the board spoil liao... kaox ehx lar... where i go find so much money... so nvm lor.. i go back home lerx... i went to a shop... they say take in $100 de most... den i say consider first lor... coz i oso dunno wat phone to get if i sell off the phone liao... sumore i cannot bear to c the phone juz go lor... everytime i say i wanna change phone... but after this hor... i not goin to change phone liao lor... even if i wanna change... i will only change to 6630 lor... if i haf the money lahx... haix... after tat went home liao... actually i was thinkin of goin out liao... den he say wanna go nokia service center wif me... den okay lor.. go wif him lor... haix... den take n repair the phone lor.. he say he goin to pay for me... after tat when return home liao... dunno wat the hell he doing arx... PMS arx... start scoldin me... already in very bad mood liao lor... after his scoldin make me even feel worst lor... haix... den i go slp lor... den he start kao bei-ing me again... dunno how many time his PMS will come arx... everytime scold me oso use tat few sentence... so wat if i study so gd... u gt praise me b4 mehx... if gt i will study hard lor.. if not... y shuld i... study so hard.. get back result u dun even give me a darn.. say i n lvl not gd... okay lor... i shuld enter ite instead arx... dun even need to b so stress now... everytime say until so nice abt urself... ever think for me mahx... ever think for ma mahx... ever think abt urself mahx... wateva u say muz listen... enough liao lor.. give u idea... u say get lost.. ask u things... everything oso say dunno... even a cup of coffee oso muz ask mama help u make... mama is ur servant arx... mama is ur wife leix.. haf u ever treat me n mama like ur son n wife... pls la... if u haf been a gd father... i will look up on u... if u cant do anything... dun expect me to do the same...

c",) HATE LIFE...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 8:34 PM

Thursday, February 03, 2005

this few day... dunno wat happen... in a darn bad mood... everybody oso shout at... monday shout at the teacher... ytd shout at swee sin.. today shout at angda.. haix... really in a darn bad mood liao still wanna tok wif me so much... haix... sumtimes i oso dunno wat to say bax... so much things to do in such a short time... if i c renugah (dunno how to spell la) 2molo... i sure say her off de... sure tick her off dex... the leo sec 1 list is out... den i already put everybody name inside liao lor... she tell me tat most of the name not in... haix... den everything is wif her... me n mdm lim cant do anything wif it... haix... nvm... 2molo is a day to relax... if anybody is goin to provoke me tomolo... they sure goin to get it....

c",) haix...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 11:35 PM

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

ytd was the worst day ler bax... haix... did lots of things to vent my anger or to release stress... haix... even i myself cant believe it.. the first period is POA mahx... den everything is alritex except tat my head hurtx alot... i dunno wat to say oso la... n i oso dunno wat i m doing... after tat is math lesson ler... me bring the exercise book mahx... den hor i dint write anything inside... den the teacher keep asking me to stand mahx... kao ehx... i gt bring still ask me to stand up for nothing... idiot... den i juz merely raise my voice on her lor... the whole class look at the two of us argue.... haix... after tat is real darn sad ler lahx... den the teacher ask me to sit down... coz i m back facing her... after school ler... i need to rush outside teachers room to c the teacher for the teacher - student conference... haix... wu liao... den actually i forgot lerx... but ms lee ask me there again.... den i meet jh n kh ler.... so i finish it fast... after tat meet them go eat... den kh need his hair cut... so while he is havin his hair cut... i was tokin on the phone wif ben... haiz... i oso dunno wat to say... but i juz told him abt wat happen the day b4... den i hang up the phone liao.. we go macs to eat... haix... den only finish the burger need to rush off ler... they promise me to buy mr softee tomolo de.. coz gt hair spray... haix.. suan ler lahx... den i actually wanna run home n get the battery and the laptop for the leo interview de... but it is too late ler... so i call mama and ask her to bring her hp the battery lent me... den meet her at back gate... change battery ler... go toilet den rush back to the interview class... oso dunno y... today so bad tempered tat i almost shouted at them... haix... den try to make everything hard for everybody.... after de interview ler.. i go n meet hannah lor... coz i need to go n get my devotional de thingy... oso dunno wat is tat n wat izit for... but i noe is chc de larx... haix.. nvm... den actually she ask whether wanna go bp wif her de... den i say i not free... actually not i not free la... coz i dun wish to go bax... really darn darn sad lor... haix... after tat i really very sad ler lahx... sorry la... k mei... ytd really not in the mood... den went back school play basketball... try to play a little rough la... i oso dunno wat m i doing... c the ball juz slam the ball rite into the board... trying to kill sumone la... den after tat tryin haf some peace at sumwhere which blongs to me... but jon n angda follow me... haix... wif them there... i dun haf peace liao lor.. over there... i dint speak much... mayb i shuld say i only say a few words bax... den i go downstairs ler... i saw a group of boys... erm... dun really noe de... play soccer wif them... haix.. really sorry for them oso lahx... i ram the ball darn darn hard.. as hard as possible... den all still low low de ball... haix... den when the game finish ler... dunno who win... den penalty lor... so all kick de ball... actually erm... my group gt one goal la... den i ram the ball so hard tat the goalkeeper catch the ball oso fall onto the ground... haix... den too bad lorx... haix... after tat my turn to b goal keeper... save everything single shot... haix... but nothin to proud of lahx... if cannot save then is a very stupid lor... easy game leix... haix... after tat i went home ler...

c",) oso dunno y after the day b4... my mood get worst.. dun even haf the mood for anything...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 1:37 AM

Saturday, January 29, 2005

so long dint write blog ler... but everything is still de same.. dun think there is anything different in my life... today dint go to the cg meeting... coz not free... need to go to zhong ren rom mahx... so dint go lor... though is a happy event for him la... but hor... wah kao ehx... darn tired lor... so i slept in the car while goin there... den when rom lerx... reach earlier den him n his wife... den walk around for a while... found tat everybody change phone liao... zhong ren same phone model as me... zhong yi change to p900 den ah qiu change to 6260... so hor very de buay song liao lor... nvm... so after tat haf lunch wif them... den hor go there eat den my shark fins gt 4 mosquito.. haix... after tat i took their phone n try c gt wat function... den my jie jie say wanna change phone liao... den my brotherinlaw say wanna go tak chey.. so drive him to the place liao... after tat go to find my jie jie de phone... den hor my jie jie went katong... first she ask for the 6670... den she saw the 6630... at first she say the phone not nice... den i tell her tat the phone is almost de same s my phone... very gd to use... den she say okay lor... den she buy tat phone... kao ehx... keep changin phone... haix... den she bought a phone for my papa... a 6230... den hor... everybody change phone liao sia... haiz... den i oso gt a bluetooth headset liaoz... last time keep laughin at my sister... now she laugh at me liao... haix... nvm... den at nite went to the bbq... erm... nothing to do lor... stay for a while nia... den go off ler... tats all bax...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 11:36 PM

Sunday, January 23, 2005

today woke up early in the mornin... oso dunno y... den papa ask me out to go eat breakfast... so eat breakfast wif them lor... but erm.. go batok le... i dint eat anything... so i went back home... when my papa saw the offer for the handphone... den he say he wanna go change phone... so he went to west mall to look for the phone... haiz... so sianx.. after tat my papa disjoin the queue... coz he say to many ppl le.. den he ask me to go ask the scv de digital tv... so i go ask lor... den he say he wanna change our house the tv into the digital de... so okay lor... went home to take the box out... den we change de thing le... i rush down to my friends father de funeral... shuld not disclose who la... but erm.. if u c this blog hor.. erm... take care larx... k... dun so sad lerx... jia you worx... den i rush down by cab to chc to c jenny baptise n to meet hannah n pearly... actually wanna c how baptise work nia la... dun even noe who is she lorx.. den actually was thinkin of havin my dinner at boonlay de.. den how noe... hannah wanna go attend my friend father funeral.. den accompany her lor... den erm... den nvm lor... go wif hannah... bring her there... den we seated there until abt 5 or 6 ler.. den bring hannah to pjc to c where pjc... den walk pass yet wei block... den walk pass jj block.. haiz... bwg la... den erm... go to the coffee shop near jj block to eat chicken rice... after tat accompany hannah to her grandma house le... after tat i take bus home lor... den meet my jie at lot1... den who noes... she is buyin the pregnant shirt for new year... wah lau... spare a tot for me lei... erm... she shoppin for this type of cloth wif me this guy lei... if i m her husband still okay lei... heez... haiz... den went back home le... haiz... den go wash up... after tat come to com... went into msn... at first okay de... now stuck... wang ba dan.. haiz.. nvm la... now waitin for it to recover.. if not wrong shuld b msn de period bax... server check... haha...

c",) haiz... today very de sad... oso dunno y.. arx... god... help me... !!!

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 11:55 PM

Saturday, January 22, 2005

sianz sia... now at home rottin... haiz... ytd went to chc... meet my two mei n hannah's friends... haiz... erm... nothin much to say abt them la... coz i dint really tok to them much mah.. haiz... i was coughin all my way into chc... feelin so sick ytd... especially when i m shoutin n singin the church songs... heez... actually cannot shout de... but no choice la... pearly force me to de.. heez... den i was so tired... feel like slpin when ps kong was peachin on stage... haiz... feel like slpin lor... haiz... den as i m hearin the peachin... i was like tryin to focus on wat he is sayin lor... though i slept for abt 12 hours lor... but hor like not enough at all.. haiz.. nvm la... after tat... goin back home le... was like so many ppl... so they decide to take the stairs up... so we took the stair together lor... when i reach the top... i was like coughin n coughin lor... den is like tok until half way... i can cough n cough... after tat sister eyonne n pearly pray for me lor... hope tat i can recover soon lor... erm.. actually erm... was like okay la... bwg la... coz now really gt recover a little le... heez... after tat... was thinkin of gettin sumthing to eat... but hor... erm.. pearly rushin back home... den hannah doesnt wan anything... so nvm lor... haiz... i went back wif hannah while pearly took bus home... haiz... shuldnt continue from here... heez... den hor i went back home le... on the way i was like recieve a call... but dunno from who... i wanna pick up the phone de... but the person hang up... haiz... den suan le larx... so i reach home le... i cant fall asleep lor... haiz... den suddenly hannah msg me to ask me online... k lor.. since i cannot slp... erm.. den erm... cannot continue this part... confidential.. heez.. erm... after tat help hannah wif certain things... eh... den hor hannah add benson into the chat... but benson dint say anything... so i chat wif hannah lor.. who noes.. while chattin... i fall aslp wif my hands still on the key board... when i woke up... my hands was like on the keyboard not movin lor.. haha... super hor... den i switch off my com n went to the toilet... den switch on the pc... heez... haiz... now i m like in a lost lor.. wat shuld i do... plus now so sianz... haiz... ke lian de wo worx... haiz... suan le larx.. ming tian hui gen hao... heez... hope for a better tomolo bax...

c",) hannah... dun think so much le larx... k.. think of the brighter side of life... heez... stay happy... i will pray for u de... ; ) jia you worx..

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 1:46 PM

Friday, January 21, 2005

ytd i finally can slp le... coz too tired le... finally... one whole nite dint slp lei... cannot tahan arx.. den i read comic... den i think lots n lots of question... haiz... suan le larx... hope tat i can forget bax... heez... erm... n hor muz say HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEITIONG... heez... sorry la... late by a day... heez.. hope u dun mind horx... heez...

finally today i can go city harvest le... yeah... heez... coz i persuade n persuade n persuade my mama until i m able to go... haha... so proud of myself... heez... c if i can give pearly a surprise later... think i still will b able to go the next week bax... coz next week friday goin to the omni theather for the bio thingy... sianx sia... but i wanted to find excuse to come n out n play play... so i haf to go for all this activity... mayb next week go chc wif uniform bax... heez... den heard tat hannah bring 8 friends along... wah... so gud ren yuan arx... haha... nvm la... the more the merrier... heez... den can go play merry go round there... heez... she shuld noe wat i m tokin abt bax... hmmm... god really ans my prayer... goin to pray for her later... if my i can change her sufferin into my sickness de hua... i would rather wan god to make me more sick n let her b happy... mayb tat shuld b it bax... nothing betta le bax... haiz.. so sad sia... now my condition bcome worst le... arx... die liao... heez... but no choice la... i took the med oso no cure de... it bcome more n more worst... haha... mayb tats oso how god ans my prayer le bax... wonder if she is happy... haiz.... so sianz... now still gt so much assignment to do... how i wish i haf stop schoolin le... haiz... if tats goin to happen... i will juz get outta of the house n dun need to go back home le... haha... haiz... tats only if la... haiz... thinkin of all these oso no use le... now muz concentrate on o le worx... haiz... more n more tirin each day... dun even noe if i can make it to poly anot... if can de hua... erm... soon or later i will juz die due to my stress lvl... ha...

tats all le bax... nothing betta to write le... feelin so tired now... still muz rush assignment lei.. heez...

c",) may god pls bless her... in watever she is doin now n in the future...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 3:37 PM

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

after ytd chat... i found tat i haf still a long long way to go... very far away... wonderin when den i can reach ur heart... it is tough... it is exhaustin.. but i m willin to do it... though it cost everynite of mine.. i promise myself tat i m not goin to fall until da day u reject me... i will sure b the one there for u... whenever u need me... i promise... i dunno if u will run away from me if i confess to u... but i m sure of one thinkin... i m scare of rejection... so till now i heaven even started plannin to tell u how i feel... heez.. tats all i haf to say bax...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 4:09 PM

Saturday, January 15, 2005

actually hor... ytd is very bz lor... i oso dunno lei... but is like i was rushin when i was eatin wif linna n bs... haiz... so sianz.. i woke up early in the mornin abt 5 plus plus plus like tat... den i was abt to gif hana mornin call le... but in the end gastric... heez... so dint manage to call.. so i feel alittle bit better le... but still pain la.. i went to the drawer n get the med... so i took the med le.. den feel alittle bit better le... den i call hana... but by the time i call her is abt 648 le... heez... so i went to change... brush teeth... wash face... ermx.. den when to school le... after tat... i went out of school le... went back home to take a bath n change straight after tat n abt to go out le... bs call me say tat he is goin to school... so i waited lor... coz i dun wanna go into the school le... so i waited at home n went into msn n saw bling... i noe sumthing le... haha... bling... i noe it le.. haha... nvm la... u oso noe mine things le... so we keep quiet k... my things only a u n me n benjamin noe... ur thing only me... erm... he n erm... her noe... heez... so keep quiet k... haha.. den after those things le... i went out to find my bao bei nu er le... coz she alone waiting for bs mah... so i went out n find her lor... den i went in wif her.... so we started eatin lor... coz i darn hungry liao... scared tat the gastric will attack again mah.. so i took alots of plates n started eatin... haha... ate so much... den mei come n get the chem bk from me... after tat meet ben to get the photo for hana de.. after tat meet mai to get back my laptop... so much things... after the buffet thingy... i went to play pool wif ben n bling... den later huat came... haha... play wif huat first game... lost him... den i play wif him again... win him lei... haha... he oso not tat gud mah... =X... heez... jkin jkin.. haha... he very gud de worx.. let me win.. haha... den hor i saw the time.. abt le... so i rush to the mrt... coz ben went back to get his bible... so i waited for him at the control station... den pearly was oso there... den we went to jurong east le... pearly went for her lesson n me n ben went to boonlay to meet hana... so when i reach le... i call hana.. den she heaven reach... so i walk around lor... after tat she came le.. den we took the bus n went to chc le... after tat went to the roof top to c the baptise pool.. n went back to the auditorium.. finish de service le.. i went back home le... so tired n sianz sia... i was carrin the laptop all the way from lot one to boonlay den from boonlay back to u t... haha... n it was so heavy.. haha.. haiz... suan le lah... den hor this mornin when out wif my mum to lot1... go there haf ajisen... den hor i ask my mum tat whether can i go church wif my martin mah.. den she say cannot... haiz.. so sad horx... haiz... nvm la... next time i go church not goin to tell her de.. heez... haiz.. cant even give me my own freedom to choose where i goin... sianz diao sia... nvm if i cant go to church... de most watch it from de internet lor... heez... tats all le bax... heez...

c",) i finally gt tongues le... yeahx.....

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 4:16 PM

Thursday, January 13, 2005

lookin forward for 2molo... dunno wat is happenin around me... haha... this few days in school all slpin sia... heez... but hor dunno y i dint get caught lei... haha... den hor i was like dozing off so easily in school... really feel like not goin to school... but if i dint go to school in the mornin... i cant go out shoppin in the afternoon... so i will go school in the morning n go back home if there isnt any activity for me to participate on... or sumthin i m interested in bax... so sianz... though school life is borin.. tats y i lookin for sum adventure... haha... now i m in school lookin for entertainment from tat idiotic scott... haha... he ask me to c him after school today due to the day i dint wear vest... but i dint go n look for him... den i goin to skip meeting from today onwards... haha... see wat he can do... hur... who ask him to shout at me in front of the whole crowd... if i gt a chance i will embarasse him in from of the whole crowd... i swear i will... but now... no matter wat... i will escape from him whenever i c him... i wun b lookin for him... let him look for me instead... let c wat he can do to me... i ask my parent down la... make the things big for him... since last year le... tolerate for so many years le... say give us honour... pls la... pushin all the job to us is to honour us arx... go die la... think i still like last time arx... this year already last year le... i give mdm rashida n mdm lim face de hor... give u face... waste my time arx... say wanna honour the leos... destroy us rather den honour us... dun say i dint say la.. is u who ruin the club n not the leos... the leos r not interested is oso bcoz of u... so dun think u r powerful lah... dun ever make me lose my temper n shout the f word rite into ur face...

c",) let this b fun... scott.. dun think u r the one tat can play wif me... the winner will still b me de... coz i m a student n u r a teacher... n i haf my parents on my side... shout me sumore la... u will get it from me...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 9:10 PM

Monday, January 10, 2005

today wake up early in the morning.. feel very sick... dunno y lei.. but like worst den ytd le... heez... den i lie on the bed for a while lor... den my mother keep naggin me... nag n nag n nag n nag... haiz... den i tell her to wait... so she goin to time up liao... den i tell her... wait... me rest for awhile first... coz really very tired mahx... so i lie on the bed... she keep tickle me... haiz... den i endure lor... endure n endure... den i act as if i slpin mah... den i tell her wait lor... very charm de lei... ytd so late den slp... will die de... after tat i fan until buay ta han... den went to the bath room to change lor... den wash face n brush teeth... after tat i c the time... wah piang eh... only 705... haiz... i tell my mother... ' c... ask u let me slp for another 5 mins oso cannt... y so niao (very ling se) den hor... i pack my bag lor... drag the time... drag n drag n drag... after tat i take my own sweet time... den still so early... pack bag only 5 mins... den hor.. reach school darn early lor... gt into the class at 712 lei... den hor i walk around... 720 sumthing le... i went down to the parade square to take attendance... after tat i went back to class.. first period is already english... almost fall slp sia... so like dazing around... n crapin wif louis... (forget to tell u all... new class arrangement... heez... first day of school was so sianz lor.. coz the one sittin beside me know him well lahx.. but not very... heez... den second dint go... they set sitting arrangement... so hor i third day i went school... dunno where to sit... after tat when louis come... he tell me i sit bside him... first impression was like... erm... is he able to tok to me... but after days... eh... now still can crap around le lahx... heez) back to tat... after everything... went for pe le.. we take height n weight... heez... erm... better dun tell my weight... if not hor... scared u all... later cannot continue... haha... so hor i took the height n weight le... we went to play basketball... haiz... so sianz.. dunno wat i m doin oso... any how shoot... dint even aim... haha... den hor i juz take the ball n throw... haha... after PE... i shouted ' makan time' den they say eat eat eat... only know how to eat.. in the end.. i no appetite... so dint eat lor... when i goin back to class after a few chat wif fb n owl... saw cheng jiang holding so much food on his hands... still dare to say i eat... he eat more den me lor... still eat so much... tat guy hor... cant even take joke de... can joke ppl but cannot take joke himself... haiz... dunno wat to say la.. nvm.. den hor i went back to class to cool down... after tat i was plannin to stay in class de... den everybody went off le... so i oso went down lor... i told louis i not goin down de.. but in the end i went down too... coz only i m the one left out... den when i got to the hall... kanna suan by louis... nvm la... so hor went back to class le... tok throughout the lesson wif eldrin... den hor was so free... prepare to fail this year de chinese le lahx... heez.. den hor after school le... so sianz... accompany fb go find da principal.. den i n ang da... actually plannin to go n eat de... den hor in the end we go find toilet... den pass by the leo room... haiz.. den my chinese teacher inside... den i complain to her abt the leo lor... after tat she tell me her situation... i tell her the history of leos... haha... so hor she suggest me to write a proposal out to mdm rashidah on the leo n how shuld it b organise... den hor we go off le... coz ang da need the toilet wif emergency lor... so hor i went to toilet le... wanna go eat le... ang da tell me to go play basketball wif him... actually left not much energy le.. but hor... haiz.. suanz le la... dint go eat lor... from 2 sumthing until 345... den hor play so many match... all against tat jon de... sumore not fair lor... they everytime bully me de... so many of the sec1 de senior in their team.. only me in the only sec 5 in the sec 1 de... i need to take rebound... den need to pass around... den coordinate the team.. dunno how to pass lor... they all stand so still.. but nvm la... they r sec 1 after all... haha... though lose all match... coz i do too much pattern le... heez... after tat zuliang tell us tat basketball trainin goin to start le... den we end da game... n it was like.. finally it is goin to end le... so thirsty sia... heez.. go buy the fei yu qing de drink... grasspower... haha... drink usin yi kuo qi... haha... den walk home... s i m walkin home... den ask if hannah goin to church on friday mah... den hor she tell me dunno.. so erm.. nvm la.. if hannah n pearly not goin... den i think i not goin oso le... but hor.. erm... if they r goin.. i might consider goin lahx... heez... after tat now at home le... bloggin now lor.. heez...

c",) mei... can dun say abt tat guy n ben le mahx... aiyo... very charm de lei... k... pls...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 4:52 PM

Sunday, January 09, 2005

First of all.... MEI.... u grow up by 1 today... heez... happy mah... can watch nc16 le... next time bring u go watch... heez.. today i was converted into christain le... heez... quite happy lor... though i cant really attend the service due to sum restriction la.. but i will try my best to go for service lor... heez... ytd i was on the net until very late... abt 12 plus like tat... den hannah msg me... i reply le i shut down my com i go n slp le... but hor tat poh hong ask me to call her to conference... den i was erm... a little tired lor... but still can tahan for a while la... den i chat wif them until 2 plus plus plus like tat... den i put down da phone le... after i put down the phone... i listen to songs lor... listen n listen n listen... den think of alots of things n of coz gt her la... heez... but erm... after tat feel quite sad lor... i oso dunno wat is happenin... den i feel so tired... like kanna hypnosis... i fall aslp le... den hor when i woke up due to my alarm... i saw the time... only 6... wah piang eh... set the wrong time... den wake up darn early lor.. so i stay still on my bed without movin much... den flip here n there... den when time finally reach... my mama call me wake up... den i go change... after tat go to boonlay to wait for tat two mei mei... at first i gt out of the house le... den i msg hannah... after i gt the msg by pearly... she say she will b late... so i reply her askin her to take her time lor... after tat i take a walk at the interchange there... den i went to buy newpaper to read... i flip to the last page... i saw the headline.... SINGAPORE 3 - INDONESIA 1... so surprise sia... singapore still can win the tiger cup final da first leg... wonder if they will win the second leg... heez.. after tat... feel so hungry... but erm... pearly reach le... after tat... we call hannah... den she ask us to go to chc ourselves den she will meet us there... me n pearly go there by the shutter bus lor... feel like slpin... heez... den hor went we reach... hannah pass the presents to pearly... she so surprise... haha... den b4 tat i did told her mah... i wun give her the presents so soon mah... coz me n hannah heaven buy the presents... heez... after tat... hannah buy le... i dint tell her... after tat... hannah meet sister felicia le... we all went to find brother alan... we go find a sit.. den is like.. wah... so pack... no space sumore... how i wish i m still small... heez... can go into the children room... go there so spacious... haha... after tat... today discover lots of things sia... found tat the sit at the side gt a portable table de... den hor found tat the singer on stage hor oso gt lyrics at the back of the hall de... heez... acutally hor i like very sua ku lor... heez.. den after the service abt 11 plus le... we went to the cafe to look for martin n sister evyonne... den hor saw lots of ppl at the cafe... den most of them goin to the service 2 de... den pack like siaoz... den when goin to cafe.. me n alan went out by stairs... den pearly... hannah n sister felicia went up by lift... erm... den i was outside the lift fetching them lor... they went in wif me... after they put down their bags... they went to the toilet... i follow... but of coz to the male one n they went to the female de larx... dun anyhow think... when they r out... we went back into the cafe... we crowded around a table... den sister evyonne announce is pearly birthday.. den we sang her birthday songs... pray for her... erm... den pearly open up her presents... heez... den i help her to wear the necklace lor.. erm... coz we bought her a necklace... after tat hannah went to c her grandma le... i accompany pearly lor... den sister eyvonne lead me to say the salvation prayer... den i was converted to christain le... at 12.35 like tat bax... heez.. den horx i drank the soup sister eyvonne bought for me... so touch.. heez... den i drank lorx... heez... shuld b mushroom soup la.. oso dunno wat lehx... heez.. after i accompany mei to walk around chc lor... like tat time ben bring me walk walk like tat... though erm... chc not really very very big lah... but hor can the place is really very nice... after tat we went back to the cafe... after we went to attribute.. the book stall at chc... den i bought after 8... heez... very nice... next time go there again.. sure buy de.. den bought two box lor... share among n139 lor.. heez... erm... den still gt abt few piece.. so i ask martin to bring back for julia lor... heez... after tat only left pearly.. sister eyvonne n lawrence le... den went for the second service.. heez.. very free mahx.. den hor everything de same de... juz tat the second one hor... pastor kong more funny nia... heez.. so hor almost fell asleep during the talk... after tat... i sent pearly to the taxi stand lor... she took taxi to the place... i oso forget where le.. den hor i went to imm... haiz... after tat went to eat... finally gt to eat liao la... haha... den came back home le... so tired n sianz now... heez... gonna slp le... heez...

c",) so happy today.. i hope tat i will find myself a new me tomolo... heez..

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 7:24 PM

Saturday, January 08, 2005

haish... my condition gettin worst le... today dint go school again... whole day slp at home... mei sure say i m a pig de... haish.. nvm la... but today oso dun wish to go school.. dun wanna face the teacher oso... mayb i gettin more n more lazy le bax... i oso dunno how come i dun like to go school nowadays... everyday go school early... haiz... very sianz de lei... summore still gt cca... haiz... erm... today is another borin day la.. ppl like me siao siao de lahx... though say sick until very jia liat... but in the end still can go bowlin... heez.. today i wake up early in the morin... i went to the toilet to change... at first not so dizzy de.. den hor after tat i went in the bathroom... den stars start to form a halo on my head... so hor i came out of the bathroom... i rested for a while den i tell my mum i not goin school le... coz too dizzy le... so i went back to bed to slp for a while... after tat i pick up my phone n called the school... give so many call den the school ans sia... haiz... wat a lousy school.. heez... den i slp until 11 plus plus plus plus den wake up... haha... so super rite.. after tat i ask bs for the atm card... den i tot of tat very long dint go bowl le.. so i went bowlin wif him lor... den i went to school le.. go n find bs... after tat i was waitin for him to tally the amount.. haiz... waited for more den half an hour... so i went into uni shop to c wat happen... haiz... den he keep countin the money... coz the amount not correct... so i check the account for him mah... den hor tat tyc... haiz... really wan to scold him arx... keep hurring the two of us... like cannot wait de... den hor after tat i ask bs to re-calculate the cash.. den still less for 12 dollars in the account... den hor we add one more item in lor... haiz... dun care so much liao... den kai lin follow us to bp.. den hor me n kailin bowl for two games lor.. after tat left bs there... dat bs wanna challenge me de... but kailin ask me to go wif her.. den okay lor.. anything lor... next time den play wif him bax... heez.. den i took a cab home... send kailin back home le.. den i took cab back u t... the cab really hor... haiz... bad service attitude... den gt back home le.. came online... hopin tat she is online.. but erm.. disappointment bax.. den hor kailin tok to me... ask me to do her blog... den help her lorx... after tat i went to bed le... the school start the sec 1 orientation week de camp fire... everything was so loud... i cannot slp... den come back online... help kailin on her blog again... after tat finish le... the camp thingy oso finish le.. i went to bed le... haha.. coz too tired.. sumore take the med... so hor slp n slp... suddenly... tat benson call me... tok abt the phonex... tree n the princess... after tat tok abt today bowlin n the pool de thingy... den feel so hungry... went to hunt for food... but no food le... den until now lor... den i come n blog... now feelin quite slpy la... but ermx... shuld b okay le bax... later den slp.. heez.. blog till here bax...

c",) wat shuld i say... she is who... not tellin u... haha..

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 1:03 AM

Friday, January 07, 2005

suddenly i felt so bored... nothing to do... so when around to look for templates n create another template... not tat dun like the last one... but hor try others lor.. haiz.. so sianz... keep changin coz i haf too much of the spare time le... heez... today was slpin the whole day... dun feel like slpin now but yet my eyes r closin soon le... heez... mayb i shuldnt go to school tomolo bax... lets c how bax... change to this template le... actually gt a little bit look like ger de lahx... but erm... suan le lah... create le... den dun care la... juz use it for the time being ba... c nicer de le den create a new one lor... haiz... so sianz rite now... juz finish my english... but my headache is gettin bad to worst... oh gosh... dunno wat i shuld do... wish tat i dun need to go to school tomolo... coz head hurtin... c how lah... some more the med is makin me dizzy... heez... so i dun think so of goin to school... but i dun wanna miss the english lei... coz every english lesson i oso dint go n attend.. haiz... but erm... health is more important (excuses) heez... erm... shuld go n slp soon le bax... erm... so early now... 1 plus nia... haaha... gud morning for those who r u readin my blog... haha

c",) slpin soon le... blated gud nitez... for 6 January 2005... heez... i gt sumthing wrong le...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 1:46 AM

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

First of all... HAPPY BIRTHDAY chao.. today ur birthday rite... heez... actually u oso wun b lookin at my blog de la... so suan le... heez... well... erm... last min den rmb de... heez...
*~*
ytd dint blog... coz too sick to blog le... feel like slpin now sia... haha... ytd went out wif benjamin... meet him at 1... den he dint come on time... so i call him lor... he at home... haiz... den i went to his house lor.. do baby sitting... saw his nephew... aiyo... very cute lei... den sum more hor very chubby n heavy... heez.. carry him for a while hor... my arms all tired liao... haha... dunno how to carry him la... den hor push him back to benjamin.. haiz... den we went to the polyclinic to get a mc.. n to get the med... den only very cheap only... $6.10 nia... den hor walk back to lot 1... after tat went to popular to look for my txtbks... den hor all the books out of stock... haha... so charm... haha... den hor go school without books lor... haha... den hor i went to benjamin house to get cd... den wait for my parents out THE WARREN... den after tat... went to my aunt house to get the cot from her... after tat go for dinner... but no appitite to eat... den hor eat very little... go home le... went into msn.. den chat until 8 like tat... only for a while only la... den i went to slp le... so slpy sia.. after tat i was so tired.. den two person msg... i darn slpy le lor... wake me up... u two shuld noe who u r bax... haiz... nvm... den i continue slpin... den this mornin b4 comin to school... i took the med mahx... den when i come to school.. i was very energytic de... but when havin lesson... i slp all de way sia... too tired le... den when the effect when off le.. i still feel very slpy... heez... later still muz go school... blog till here bax...

c",) gd nitez... nothing else to say le... buaiz...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 3:55 PM

Monday, January 03, 2005

today was a darn boring day in school... when into the class... everything is so new.. everything is so different... it is already not the class i noe le... the class dun look like the one i went in b4... today i m full of headache... keep coughin n coughin... medicine still dun work... haiz.. den hor juz bare wif it lor... today time past darn fast de... like u dint notice it... n it has past u le... haiz... now darn tired... tat idiotic vanessa dun let me slp... kao ehx... will die de lei... my eyes goin to close le... den dint haf lunch juz now... darn hungry lor... haiz... the whole nitex dint slp lei... haiz... suan le la... wei le wo mei ba... haiz... ytd i chat wif her in msn mah... den i told her wat i happen ytd when i was tokin to ben mah... haiz... den she ask me to call her to cheer me up... but in the end... erm... look like i m the one cheerin him up lor... heez... after tat chat wif her until 3plus... she keep teasin me... haiz... she shuld get wat i mean le bax.. den after tat... she ask me wake her up at 6 mah... den dint slp lor... juz close my eyes n wait for the alarm to ring.. den when alarm ring le huo... i call her... she dint ans the phone... i call n call n call n call n call n call n call n call... finally... she ans the phone wif the slpy sound... den hor tell her to go brush teeth wash face.. n go bath... den i tell her i goin to call her in 30 mins time... den hor i close my eyes again.. waited for the time to past... den i went out of the house le... at the traffic light.. i call her again lor... to c whether she reach u t already anot lor... hee.... after tat when to class.. almost fall asleep durin combine humans arx.. darn sian de lor... after tat i after school le... go find jie min to give her the comic... den went to mai house to fix her com... erm... oso dunno how i did it de... heez... coz i very sianz mah... den hor i juz click click click... after tat she makin the dunno wat food... but not for me... so sad sia... den hor i went back to school after tat... went to uni shop... darn funny juz now sia... i discussin the thing wif boon siong is like we quarrel abt sumthing like tat... our voice get louder n louder... haha... if ppl dunno us de... sure say we siao de... haha... haiz... suan le la... i very tired le... heez... go slp le... buaiz..

c",) anything u wan... can call me... i very tired... haf a rest... but i will sure pick up the phone de..

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 5:16 PM

Sunday, January 02, 2005

haiz... finally a year pass le leh.. heez.. let everything stay behind can mah... i dun wanna bring everything to this year le... last nite i was tokin wif ben until 3.31am... sorry leh.. ben shock u... heez.. n we were tokin abt the topic FRIENDS... friends haf a very special meanin... n wat does friends do... in this society... wat god change man into... haiz... m i consider a friend to others... no idea... to me simple things can change my life le lor.. a word from others can make me happy le.. so sumtimes really envy ben... coz still haf friends mah... those VISIBLE de... those still can stay in contact n those tat still CARES de... n those FRIENDS tat RETURN MSG de... juz wish tat everything tat happen last year can b a dream... its a beginin of a new chapter le... i wonder wat my next chapter is goin to b like... mayb my next year will b a borin year... a year without any FRIENDS ba... coz most of my friends r goin away from me le... sayin abt friends.. most of them are artifical ba.. which is true... i count usin my ten fingers... it will sure b a single digit ba... no way it can exceed 10 de... they shuld noe who i m referin to... if u dunno... ben shuld b able to tell u ba... i told him ytd.. but i think he oso forgotten le la... suan le... though i haf lost alot of my friends in year 2004... but i gain alot of new friends when i step into year 2005... n those friends were n139... though i can say la... i dunno everybody very well la... but at least i noe tat they still treat me s their friends... n i treat them de same... we pray together... we play together.. n we haf a nice time... n139 is really nice.. erm.. can say to b happy to b wif them ba... n i haf join n139 le...

on 31st...
i went out wif hannah pearly n ben to chc... but hor ben n pearly is LATE!!... haha... jkin jkin... dun get any offence la... but erm... for hannah de hua... heez... erm.. u shuld noe her le la... haha... haf a nice time there... when we reach is abt 4 sumthing abt 5 le... den hor we went to the cafe to haf some food... but the cafe start at 6... sw waited lor... den tat hannah hor... keep complaining tat she is very hungry... den hor while waiting... they were making things for n139... make me so ps sia... coz i dint prepare anything for them mah... heez.. after tat i haf the curry cutlet rice for dinner... the whole day dint eat lei.. darn hungry... heez... den hor after the dinner.. went to haf a walk wif ben... den we play the merry go round n the see-saw... big children hor.. haha... haiz... after tat meet them at the cafe again lor... den go to the auditorium(forget how to spell liao) to c the thing... den hor again the who is sitting beside me... den is like OMG... y is he bside me... i was terrified sia.. haha... jkin de la.. but he is a nice guy lor... he provide entertainment for kids de lei... siao siao... haha... in mac mayb can c him de... heez... den after the thing... we go for the countdown mah... b4 tat.. bro victor n sis evyonne announce tat they r gettin married le... congrat worx... den after tat... we went to KPO CC by martin car to go to the countdown... den hor end le... ben mums call le... haiz... same old things la... den wait for his father at chc lor... his father den fetch us back to cck... den i sent hannah home le... den i go back home lor... heez.. when i reach home abt 1 sumthing le... lucky still able to catch the last train... heez... phew... back home le... went to bath le... den when to bed le... cannot tahan... very tired.. heez...

on the first day of 2005... which is ytd la...
early in the mornin pearly msg me... ask me wanna go ice skating wif her anot... den hor agree lor.. oso dunno wat i m thinkin lor... but hor really very charm lor.. i oso dunno wat i m thinkin... haha... at first dunno how to skate de... den hor i learn lor... actually is quite easy la... but not a pro lor.. can at least go a little faster nia la.. but erm... at least only fall twice... haha... den lost my key to the locker... haiz.. no choice lor... break the locker... pay 15 dollars... haiz... next time if i really go skatin... i will sure bring a safe there... so tat i wun lose my key... arx... haiz... suan le la... den hor went to lawrence place for the cell group meeting lor... we sang the church songs... to thank god for wat he haf done lor... we pray lor... pray for our loves one... but of coz my pray is very short... coz i dun haf much love one to pray to... heez... den hor after tat... we had some refreshment lor... after tat went to ben house for his house warmin party... erm... shuld b a farewell party ba.. i noe hannah wish tat sumone wuld b there ba... but... i oso no idea if he is there... coz i oso dunno wat i m thinkin when i m at ben house... really feel very sian n tired... all wear out... n suddenly dint tok much... heez... feel like lyin on ben bed at tat moment... juz slp there at tat moment... heez... but dint do it la... i dunno y lor... out of a sudden after i saw ben friends n ben cousin... i found tat i m a very lonely... haiz... suan le la.. den after the thing le... n139 left first lor... den me n ben de friends left together... den we enter de gate le... sent hannah off le.. we exit again n went macs to haf my dinner... after tat abt 1140 le... den i went home... oso dunno y la... suddenly feel tat i m all alone again le... heez.. n on the way home... i feel tat... if there is really a friend tat can understand my feelin well... i will b the happiest guy on earth le... juz 1 is enough... n ytd i pray to god... hope tat sumone can listen to wat i say... in the end... god sent ben to tok to me... is tat how god ans my prayers... den after tokin wif him on the phone... i slept till this mornin lor.. when i wake up le.. everything is still in my mind la... though tomolo is a better day... but today doesnt seem to make any different from ytd... haiz... juz let it pass ba...

c",) hope tat god can ans all my prayers ba.. now i gotta pray for sumone else le.. not for myself le ba... i will pray for everybody tat i consider s a FRIENDS n my love ones ba... especially for n139... jia you worx... n139...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 2:22 PM

Thursday, December 30, 2004

haiz... nothing to blog... juz write for fun...

c",) bo liao rite... muahahahaaha....

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 10:02 PM

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

today very charm sia... ytd play basketball wif kelvin... angda.. susan... cheng long n chengjiang... today bodyache liao... haha... too long nv play basketball liao... den ytd only play for 2 hours... but darn tired lor... after tat still walk wif boonsiong so far... so hor now i goin to b dead le... haha...

this mornin... i wonder if my dream is true... but i hope is the opposite... shall not disclose here la... coz confidential... is abt her de... though i m thinkin of her everyday... i dunno how to speak out my feelins... though there is lots n lots i wanna tell her... but when the words is in my mouth... i can hardly say it out... but she lurve another person deeply.. how i hope the two of them can b together... so tat i can dun think so much... so tat i can nv b the same again...
i juz wish tat u can b happy... tats all... dun expect anything else from u le.. happy is the key word ba... i can do anything to make u happy.. but whenever u r happy... i juz wish tat u r not wif me... coz i dun wanna b the one tat take away ur happiness... i m scare of givin u more worries den b4... if the two of u can b together... i will sure give u my blessin... coz i m meant to b alone ba...

c",) *silence*

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 1:00 PM

this mornin wake up very early sia... wake up at 6 in the morning... den ytd nite hannah msg me gd nitez in the dark... scared me sia.. den hor i reply her wif my eyes close n i went to slp le... haha.. den next mornin i wake up... quite energytic... so papa drive me to u t food court... go there eat nasi lemak... den went to school very early... den when i gt into the school... saw mrs tan... den greet her gd morning mah... den when she told me tat all sec 5 student need to report to school at 2 in school... den i msg cheng long... he say at 10... den i tell jasper today i not workin for uni shop le... den he agree... so i dint work lor... den tat bs.. keep sayin i ps him... wah lau eh... i need to come back this year but he dun need lei... wat he expect... den hor when we all reach le... they told us tat the time change to two le... so nvm lor... i went all the way back home to get my stuff... yet she told me the timing has been change... den i to find angda... kelvin n a p6 de cute cute de ger name susan(shuld b correct spellin ba) den they playin bball... of coz we win mah... 2 guy vs 1 ger n 1 guy... haiz... me n susan vs angda n kelvin... after tat the two cheng join in... 1 is cheng jiang... 1 is cheng long... den hor we play lor... after tat went back to school to change... very smelly liao mah... so go change lor... after tat walk around da school... den hor we went to the classroom to c how izit... den we switch back to our sec 3 classroom le... so sad... haiz... from sec 3 onwards... we haf been climbin to the forth storey... wan us to die arx... climb so high... den hor we went back to cafeteria to take our bags.. den i went to GO... mdm jaya told me is at 11... den i was like... wah take me s a toy arx... den she ask me to go n find yellow say red (ng say hong) den saw mrs tan... lucky saw mrs tan... if not i dunno wat will happen to me in the end... haiz... next year going to sec 5 le... lucky for mrs tan today.. if not i still dunno abt this... den hor after the checkin of books.. saw bs... den ask him if he is goin out mah... den he say go c his father... den i was huntin for things oso mah... so he say he is goin to outram mah... so i went to outram de GH to c his father... den went to suntec to hunt for present... after buyin everything... i broke liao sia... haha.. den hor went back home... so many thing to do... walk from the CHIJMES church to china town lei... den hor take da bus from there... now my leg still cramp.. haha... den hor finally gt the bus le... den gt back home lor... haiz... today was a undecisive day.. haha.. haiz... no choice la... too many things le mah... reach home le... i came into msn le... haha... dint even go bath... until pearly went off le... den i went to bath... coz i gt thing to tell hannah mah... haha... so c whether she online mah... heez... tats all for today ba... gt to slp le... heez... buaiz... today wake up so early some more... haha... gd nitez.. buaiz...

c",) today quite angry.. quite sad... quite happy... mixture of feeling... but at the end of the day... TIRED... heez...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 1:28 AM

Monday, December 27, 2004

today went to work early in the morning... den ytd i was tokin to hannah till late in the nite... haha... qian ma rite... heez... no choice la... she borin mah... so chat wif her lor... but i cannot tahan le.. den i go slp lor... heez... really tired ytd... dunno wat to say la... sianz... den today early in the morning... i went to uni shop to help out... haiz... den like doing nothing like tat... feel like slpin le... den after work le go seoul garden to eat... den went to school to help mrs lim... after tat go macs to haf a drink... den on the way back... go n change casin... from white to black... haha... haiz... so tired... today dun write so much la... buaiz...

c",) cya tomolo...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 9:01 PM

Saturday, December 25, 2004

yozz.. ytd a very happy day... heez... went wif hannah to a church event... heez... den hor noe alot of friends... namely.. alan.. xiangen... sister evyonne... juliat (martin's wife)... haohan (gina bf)... gina (haohan gf) dr.eugene... lawrence n more... coz cant rmb all the name at the moment... heez... oso saw some old friends... like martin... rachael.. really very happy to c them there... n only after tat den i noe they r from new harvest de... den is like... wow... wat a grand event... den hor i spent my night wif hannah lor... heez... accompany her la... den hor we went kallang in the after at abt 3 lor... actually we meet at 3.15 at Jurong East... den i went to we r suppose to reach at abt 430 de... which is abt 1 hr n 15 mins later... but we reach at 4... so the train was too fast for us... we reach there to early le.. den we went to eat mac... heez... s we r eatin... saw 2 gers there playin... at first c them very cute lor... runnin around wanted to chase each other... den suddenly the older de sister suddenly sit bside me... askin the younger one to stop following... so cute.. kawaii ne... heez.. den the two of them ask me for nuggets.. den juz give them lor... c them so cute.. den took pictures of them... they were like so cute n adorable... haha... especially the younger de... cheeks is really bai li tuo hong lor... they were juz 1 years old different... den her mum n dad went to work... left the two of them at home... den their grandparents dint care abt them... wah lau.. how they become parents de... haiz... dunno wat to say la... den hor 4 30 le... den we went to find martin... at first hannah say his name hor... i dunno wat to say lor... erm.. is like eh... very familiar name... den hor went i saw him... orhx... recognise him le... haha... den after tat... we went to indoor stadium to queue up to enter the stadium... den when i enter.. it was like... wow... so many ppl... want to kill me arx... den i sat bside hannah lor... coz most of the ppl oso dunno wats happenin... haha... n bcoz everybody is like the first time coming to this event lor... so hor.. hard to believe... haha... everybody treat me s if i m in their family le... their bonding is really very close lor... heez... everybody was so happy there... den hannah was complainin when is the show startin... haiz... cant sit properly la.. haha... den the show started le.. host is the husband of he yao shan... den hor they sang the songs... i only heard 2 songs b4 nia... den hor they show a performance on the stage abt how jesus is born... den tell us wat is the meanin of life... but hor to my observance hor... most of the ppl beside me is yawnin lor... erm... k la... b honest la... i oso find it quite boring lor... actually hor... really feel like slpin... heez... den hor i gt another view from wat the god wan from us la... not like wat the host said la... heez.. but shuldnt reveal here... if not will get too many comment if anybody c this... heez... erm... den hor... after everything waited for martin lor... coz they were there to gather everybody in the cell group mah... den hor we went for dinner... den hor at first go KFC de... den hor too packed le... den went to the tian ji zhou there to eat lor... den hor order the food... some dint come... haiz... suan le la... after tat dinner... martin drive us home... haiz... reach home is abt 1 le.. haha... so long dint go home so late le... was thinkin if i shuld go for the count down... but hor today muz wake up early early... den there so crowded... so dint go lor.. heez... after tat i was the last one tat got off the car... haiz... still can recognise the road... erm... den hor erm... dunno izit tat alot of ppl comment on me... coz hor from mornin till now.. nose keep on not very well lor... heez... haiz... nvm la... wo xing ku hao guo bie ren xin ku.. heez... but dun say too much la... very charm de lei.. heez... shuld end off here le... need to get ready le... muz go my aunt house le... they havin celebration there.... tell u wat happen 2molo... cya....

c",) MERRY CHRISTMAS.... hohoho... heez... santa is coming to town... waitin for arrival... haha... flight CE 0525... rmb to catch his flight... muahahaha... lame la... haha...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 11:24 AM

Thursday, December 23, 2004

today went out wif jing n chao... haiz... sumone will b askin me y m i so stupid... b a lightbulb but hor... erm i oso dunno lei... very sianz... so went out wif them lor... but hor sumtimes really feel bad after going out wif them... shuld let them go on a single date hor... heez... today went to orchard again... den i was late... sorry la... not purposely de.. coz i dint noe tat it will end so late... heez.. den this early in the mornin i already leave house le... i was so tired... coz i slept 4 den wake up at 2... wah piang eh... cao lao guo du.... heez... den hor like managin the place not well enough lor... haiz... so charm... den hao wu duan duan... SUMBODY call me a flirt lor... nvm la... suan le... flirt jiu flirt lor... who cares... hurh... heez... jkin la... but she oso wun c this ba... heez... den hor work until muz go n get leos for help... haiz... den ask them do this den do tat... after tat go n get jasper to arrange everything... after tat went here n there... den hor do the gatherin of cloths.. so many years hor.. this year de worst de... where gt 1 school hor dint haf the stock while school is starting de... wah piang eh.. horrigible... terrigible... vegetable arx... after tat we go off le... actually was thinkin of eating wif jasper... bs.. yan hong... hui min... erm n nurine... n huixian... heez... den hor... i meet jing n chao le mah... so i went straight to orchard to find them lor... who noes hor jing oso late... haha... den hor when i reach there... waited for a few mins n they r here... i look darn odd lor... coz i m wearin uniform... haiz... no choice... who ask me to b so rush... heez... den went to cineleisure to watch movie... haiz... sianz sia... coz hor... erm... better dun say anything la... heez.. later get scolded by sumbody (this sumbody is erm... another sumbody for above la... she shuld noe who is she la... erm... mayb refering to more den 1... heez..) den hor the funny quite funny la... but hor the storyline is not gd... but like the graphic... coz the graphic very nice... heez... den hor actually... chao need to go by 6 de... den after the movie is already 7 liao... den we take dinner together n went home le... coz i m too tired tat make the whole event so boring la... sorry la... heez... den sumore lost my wallet in my cinema... but lucky i retrieve it back... haha... den hor oso muz say sorry to them la... coz they accompany me climb up n down to get back my wallet... thx alot n sorry... heez..

c",) SORRY...

found me yet??? *wonderin* [*] 10:15 PM